So you're pumped for this concert you're attending this Saturday, only to find out a few days before that the event is dry - there are no bars or beer stands and alcohol from the outside is strictly prohibited on the grounds. The horror!
So what do you do? You can't not go because you spent a good $60 on the stupid tickets with your friends or significant other. But you're also not sure this is the kind of event you can enjoy without the comforting effervescence of a cold beer on your naked lips... I've gone too far.
Bottom line: you want beer or wine or hard stuff and you need to be sneaky about it. All is not lost, my friend. Here are a few ways to do just that.
The Sneaky Sunscreen
If you have an old tube of sunscreen lying around, this is your chance to use it! All you have to do is wash it very well first - I suggest running boiling water through it a few times, then adding some soap, shaking it, and rinsing it with boiling water again a few times. Once it's clean, just fill it up with the booze of your choice, and voilà!
If you're lazy, you can buy an actual sunscreen flask and call it a day. But that's not as much fun.
The Misleading Water Bottle
Some events allow you to bring water or coffee or any other non-alcoholic beverage inside. If that's the case for your event, you're golden (I'm not exactly sure why you were even complaining about this in the first place, but whatever).
Just grab any old stainless steel water bottle (or get this one if you're feeling a little cheeky) and fill it all the way up!
The Can Con
The idea here is to disguise your can of beer into something innocuous. The first trick involves turning your beer into soda. All you need to do here is use an old can of soda and carefully cut the top and bottom off the can to make a sleeve (you'll need to cu it down the middle to wrap it). Then, just wrap that baby around cans of beer and there you have it!
Another way to hide the can is to turn it into a burrito! Just wrap each can inside a tortilla and foil. When you're ready to drink unwrap the foil, take a few bites of tortilla and take a nice gulp. The foil will even help keep your beer cold and you get a snack out of it, too. Genius!
The Devious Ice Pack
Again, if you can bring a cooler into an event, this one is an easy win. I wouldn't suggest doing this with a real ice pack, though. Who knows what weird chemicals are in there... So do me a favor and buy one you're supposed to fill with water (this one is a good option) and fill with beer.
The Duplicitous Camelbak
You know those backpacks you can fill with water? Yeah, just fill it up with booze instead. Most likely, it'll taste like booze forever afterward because those things are so damn hard to clean, but I'll let you decide whether that's a good thing or a bad thing because hey, it's your Camelbak.
The Secret Treasure
If you're really into an adventure, there's a pretty risky, yet effective, yet kinda ridiculous way to sneak booze into an outdoor event. This has to be planned ahead and I highly suggest some kind of backup in case things go wrong.
Here it goes: bury your beer.
I don't know if there are any laws against burying something in a public park but there definitely are laws if it's on private property. Weigh the risks first, then see if it's worth it. And if things go wrong, you were never here.
The Impostorous Pringles
This trick is almost so perfect, it makes you wonder if the Pringles people wanted you to sneak beer into places using this trick. All you have to do is empty the can, insert beer bottle, add a stack of Pringles on top - and presto.
The only problem is that bringing twelves cans of Pringles to a concert is a bit weird... But who's judging?
The Two-Faced Bra or Boxers
You can try to do this one with resealable bags you buy at the grocery store (but it's risky) or you can buy refillable pouches with twist caps. Just fill with booze and stuff in your bra or underpants.
There's a risk of leakage, but sometimes you have to take one for the team.
Well, kids - these are all the tricks I have up my sleeve for today. And don't forget, when there's a beer, there's a way!